Suicide.

*drawer opening sound*

*sigh....*

*metal racketing*

*drawer closing*

*opening sound*

*ting*

*click, click*

*snap*

*wimper*

*click*

*latch*

I......I can't do this anymore.

*BANG*



Remember.... bllb... bllahhh......... *THUD*

One Day Until 4/20

So here it is again, a holiday far more important then anything else that happens this month. A day celebrated by many, and hated by many others. Originating due to Hitler's birthday, people decided to make this "pot smoking day." How will you and many of our peers celebrate this year? I've narrowed it down to the following situations:

Some of our classmates will actually come to school high (1% of our school)
Some of our classmates will smoke after school (5-9% of our school)
Some of our classmates will act like they are going to get high or will talk about how they are against it (80% of our school)

To sum up, whether you are for or against weed, our school is fucking gay.

Remember in loo of of the upcoming holiday, people do not actually celebrate 4/20 because Hitler was born that day. If you didn't catch that, then you fail.

Epic Conversation II

This was a conversation between Phil, Ethan, and I on Skype.

[10:23:19 PM] Phil (Seekreet Snook): u can kick him u know
[10:23:19 PM] Ethan B Lego: No :(
[10:23:21 PM] Ethan B Lego: No :(
[10:23:25 PM] Dan Passio: i wont
[10:23:31 PM] Dan Passio: unless i see more spam
[10:23:36 PM] Ethan B Lego: spamspamspamspamspamspamspamspam
spamspamspamspamspamspamspamspam
spamspamspamspamspamspamspamspam
spamspamspamspamspamspamspamspam
spamspamspamspamspamspamspamspam
spamspamspamspamspamspamspamspam
spamspamspamspamspamspamspamspam (much spamming was deleted for obvious reasons)
[10:23:38 PM] Ethan B Lego: oops
[10:23:38 PM] Phil (Seekreet Snook): lulz
[10:23:40 PM] Phil (Seekreet Snook): pwned
[10:23:41 PM] Ethan B Lego: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
[10:23:45 PM] Ethan B Lego: :(
[10:23:52 PM] *** Dan Passio ejected Ethan B Lego from this conversation. ***

Remember spamming is not funny, unless Ethan gets kicked for it afterwords.

Run Can!!!

Finishing Up.

Well, I didn't exactly finish my last post. So, yeah. I'm still feelin' kinda down from yesterday night, so I'll end this with a few more words.

Yeah, I was going to say something about thinking about something to write on Sphinx and Fish, but then forgetting it and thinking about something else, and then not remembering it, but only remembering the fact that I thought of something to write on Sphinx and Fish, but I can't remember what it was. It's so frustrating.

Yeah, I was going to put a few jokes in there. But, obviously I forgot about them, so if I tried now, they wouldn't be as funny....yeah.

Woah, look up at the second paragraph. There's a phrase there that says "something about thinking about something" that's lulz.



Remember, rappers can't sing. You might as well use microsoft sam to sing for them.

Forgetting What To Write About

Recently, I've been running into situations where I think; "Hey! I should write about this incredibly interesting experience in Sphinx and Fish!" A few moments later, I'm thinking, "What the fuck are you doing to my couch?" or something absurd. (Fuck, I didn't know how to spell absurd, so I googled "obsurd" 'cause that's how I thought it's spelled. The first website said this:

1.	obsurd
	The way stupid people spell absurd. AIM- "Hey Derek my grade on that spelling test was obsurd! i totally studied that shit." "Wow Bryson, Its spelled absurd. maybe theres a reason you failed the spelling test.."

I'm a fucking idiot....

I'm so upset by this, I don't want to finish my post.




Remember, nothing is ever available to you if you ask for it. There's nothing funny that I can get out of this....Fuck. I'm having a horrible day.

Ethan B. Lego

Ok guys I need this answered asap, its pretty important and I really want to contribute since Ethan doesn't do anything. what in the world does the "B" mean? You know what "B" I'm talking about... Ethan B. Lego.
Please help!

Remember don't leave your children alone in rooms. Sam Stoley will be there.

Epic Conversation

Kyle: PWNED
Phil: ?
Kyle: ?
Kyle: Moose farmer?
Phil: I'm not
Kyle: You might be
Phil: I can prove that i'm not
Kyle: Fine then

Phil's Remember quote...
Remember, it's a trap! Consult Ackbar with any confusion.

Not Funny.

This post is not funny. Nothing in this post should ever make you laugh, smile, or even respectfully shrug: "Yeah, that's respectfully humorous". If you do, however, chuckle or smile at this post, consult a doctor immediately, for laughing at this word sequence makes no sense whatsoever. This should not be taken as a joke, a gag, or even an attempt to be funny by saying that it isn't funny. Because this post is not funny. Comedy has been raised to a full potential. Comedians are being paid millions of dollars for making people laugh. Movies are making record profit for being hilarious. Blogs are getting charitable donations for being random, and having awesome names such as "Sphinx and Fish". However, this post is none of those things. This post has nothing to do with comedy. It has not sold millions of copies. It has not made millions of dollars. It is not popular, funny, or entertaining in anyway. Anyone who thinks this post is funny will be put down for not having a decent sense of humor, because this post is not funny.





...Teehee.




Remember, do not drink Caprisun. Unless you want to be a T-1000.

Random Post #1

Today I will create a story using the first thing I think of for each sentence. Enjoy.

Holy crap!!! The goat is on fire!! The pirates laugh at him because goats don't have feelings!!! Was that to mean? Of course not. Jiminy Cricket doesn't know how to dance. Only the person who made him can't. Why am I doing this? I have no fucking idea. I'm mentally insane...

The End

Remember, cliffs are dangerous. Only jump off if you have nothing to live for.

EASTER!!!

This wasn't as exciting as I though it would be.

Remember, disappointments are another form of appointments. You don't need to see a doctor.

1 Day from Easter

Tomorrow is Easter!!! I'm excited. Chocolate bunny's, Reese's, eggs, and much more!! I love to eat candy. Know who else does? Little kids, Jesus, and Pedophiles. That's right Jesus likes candy too. Celebrate you lords revival by eating a piece of chocolate made to look like an innocent creature!! have fun tomorrow, you'll need it!!

Remember, if people laugh at you, you are a good comedian. If they don't laugh, give up.

2 Days from Easter

Good Friday. The day Christians celebrate the death of Jesus. Who came up with Good Friday? Is it good Jesus died or what. It's not like he died for a purpose like to forgive peoples sins or something like that. Jesus, Good Friday is a terrible name. I know, Jesus died today lets go hide some eggs. We can't get them though until Jesus comes back to look for them with us. What the fuck!? God damn traditions.

Remember, if you sing in the shower you're a loser. Stop it.

3 Days from Easter

It is now three days from Easter. I am excited, but not as excited as you'll be when you find out I'm excited. Seriously, It's almost fucking Easter! If I don't get a chocolate bunny soon, I will eat a real bunny. How would you like that you big fucking rabbit!! Just give me a goddamn chocolate bunny!!




Remember, if it isn't scared of you hit it. Abuse is terrifying.

4 Days from Easter

To celebrate Easter here at Sphinx and Fish I will be counting the days to one of the trippiest holidays in the christian world. Why is this a trippy holiday? Think about it, children are forced to look for eggs, not normal eggs but eggs brightly colored as if they were using LSD. But why are the kids looking for these eggs? They are somehow full of candy. Not only this but aparently a giant bunny laid the eggs. Bunnys can't lay eggs, but giant bunnys can. This brings me to the question, who the fuck is the father? Perhaps it was a giant chocolate chicken, or maybe the bunny was raped by a group of hippies. Whatever it is be safe this easter, or you to will be raped by hippies.

Remeber, it's only funny until people stop laughing. Seriously, if they stop laughing then shut the fuck up.